Wednesday, March 14, 2012

What American Dream?


Jumping in on the “American Dream” conversation…

For all the hysteria and laughable, drug-induced absurdity of Raoul Duke’s and his attorney’s surreal escapades through the desert and the mirage of Las Vegas, comedy remains at best a superficial quality of the novel. Beneath the exterior of this humorously deranged narration lies the ugly underbelly of the drug culture that reveals the despair emerging from the search for the American Dream. For the youth of the ‘60s, the American Dream became not so much a pursuit of economic prosperity, but rather a dream of freedom in which intellectual wanderings manifested in a physical search. The retrospective of Fear and Loathing depicts this seeming clash of ideologies constituting the American Dream and ultimately engages the novel’s pair in the fruitless search for this now vanishing identity.  

The early ‘70s of Fear and Loathing show a continuation of the search begun in the ‘60s, with the beginning of the novel revealing Duke and his attorney eagerly in pursuit of the American Dream—believing its exact locale to be Las Vegas—and quickly transitioning into a mood of despair as the high of the delusion of the American Dream’s existence begins to wear off. It’s interesting to note (and particularly ironic) that this shift in the decades indicates a shift in perspective of not only what constitutes the Dream, but also its situation in the culture; as the American Dream became more difficult to achieve and more fluid in its make-up, it transitioned from occupying a state of being to occupying a specific locale. The novel awards Las Vegas as the site of this soon-to-be-discovered delusion, particularly because it capitalizes on extreme excess. In this way, Thompson mocks both America and its Dream, demonstrating that both symbols are empty save for their own lofty, excessive ambitions that lead nowhere; there is an attempt to legitimize Las Vegas as the referent of both American and its Dream, and yet such an endeavor collapses by the end of the novel, just like the burnt-down condition of the “Old Psychiatrist’s Club” outside Las Vegas that is denoted by locals as potentially functioning as the American Dream. Further, the style of the novel aids in the representation of empty signifiers brought to light through extremes, with the excess of foul language and drug use serving to not so much to depict a reality, but rather to emphasize the absurdity of the delusion.

In reading Fear and Loathing, I found the following passage to be one of the great moments of the novel, a moment that encapsulates and reflects the delusion of the American Dream and the emptiness that permeates its dissolving dimensions:

“…big crowds still gathered around crap tables. Who are these people? These faces! Where do they come from? They look like caricatures of used-car dealers from Dallas. But they’re real. And, sweet Jesus, there are a hell of a lot of them—still screaming around these desert-city crap tables at four-thirty on a Sunday morning. Still humping the American Dream, that vision of the Big Winter somehow emerging from the last-minute pre-dawn chaos of a stale Vegas casino” (57).

“Still humping the American Dream.” What a fantastic image. Duke narrates a reflection in which the American Dream is objectified and sexualized. Tourists to Las Vegas are so desperate to find the American Dream that they latch on to the empty signifier of this desert mirage and urgently thrust, unable to penetrate because of its existence as an illusion. The American Dream has not been destroyed, for such a feat is impossible; rather, the American Dream—as the beginning of the ‘70s reveals—has never existed in reality at all, and it ironically takes the delusional and hallucinogenic state of consciousness prompted by the consumption of drugs to show Duke the truth of the illusion.

Bella Sicilia

For the assignment of an informal imitation or love letter to a city or place I immediately thought if Sicily, Italy. I went there during spring break last year to visit my sister who was studying abroad in the town of Ortigia. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.

Dear Ortigia, Sicilia,

The vivid redness of your blood oranges haunt my memories; they are unlike anything else on earth. The busy open air market in downtown Ortigia with energetic and passionate Sicilians shouting their wares and winking at passersby truly is a beautiful sight. I wish I could taste your pistachio cannoli and your canella gelato. Besides the food, I fell in love with your sun and the way it reflected off the deep olive skins of the native Sicilians. The Sicilians love to use their mouths to eat, to talk, to smile and to kiss. Ortigia, Sicily reminded me that the world is much larger than Chicago or Wisconsin where I went to college for my undergraduate degree in English; this remarkable place inspired me to live more and think less. Someday soon I hope to go back to you and say "buongiorno" or maybe even "ciao."

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Lives We Choose as Writers

Many times Luis mentioned about being careful of what we summon as writers. Looking at Hunter, Spalding and even Joan....it really made me ponder what writers choose to summon. Reading the great works of these authors and then finding out they've committed suicide or just got lost in the death that happened in their lives. I am a writer and I find myself sitting contemplating on what exactly I should write because of what could actually come of it once those words reach those pages. Okay it is 2012, so I will say....once those words reach those screens. It was just a thought and I wondered if anyone else had those fears or concerns moving forward as a writer.

Dear Chicago

                                                                        March 2012

Dear Chicago,

        For the twenty-two years I lived with you, I still cherish this one moment. Last year, in May, my

boyfriend and I took a walk on the beach. The warm sun toasted our toes and kissed our cheeks. The

waves created a wind so gentle yet strong enough to play in my hair. My boyfriend grabbed my hand

and pulled me onto the hard rocks. We sat on your earth, our Chicago. That snapshot, moment,

memory... will forever be with me...us.

    No other place I'd rather be than in the windy city.

Monday, March 12, 2012

City of Wind

                                                                                                                                      March 2012
Dear Chicago,

For 22 years, I have lived with you and called you home. Born in the bosom of your skyscrapers, I have grown under the nourishment of your environment. For 22 years I have come to love you. Through the tough love of the West Side, to the love of family on the North Side, my love for the city of wind is undying. I have traveled all over the United States, where the locals would compliment on my "Chicago accent". Weeks away from Chicago would leave me nostalgic. I could never move away from here. Ever. This city has given me a cut throat attitude and at the same time, a loving nature. What city can do that?

My friend once said, maybe a little intoxicated, "In this city, if you ain't tough you'll get blown away."

That is still, and always will be, the City of Wind.


Sunday, March 11, 2012

Dear West Palm Beach.....



This assignment truly allowed me to escape to my dream world, as I thought of West Palm Beach as soon as our TA mentioned a city or place that we have a lot of love for. Hopefully I did SG some justice with this rendition.  

Dear West Palm Beach:
For 6 summers of my childhood I lived with you and learned to love you. I came to you to learn about my mother’s side of the family and found new love and appreciation from them around every corner. I left the monotony of Chicago and came to Florida, that peninsula off of the East Coast of America, where retirement homes are king and relaxation and hospitality exuded from each household I encountered. You gave me a breath of fresh air because you are so open and kind.

When we were growing up, my mother put thoughts in our head of a simpler time and place from the eccentric lifestyle that we had grown to know from Chicago. Florida was meant to be an escape from reality that was really available to us when we needed it.

That is still West Palm Beach to me.

-DL

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Thai/Cambodian Confidential


As I mentioned in class, much of Spalding Gray's Swimming to Cambodia resonated with me in a particular way due to the amount of time I spent living, working and traveling in South East Asia. I think that this is a terrific performance piece, both in style and substance, yet I can't quite get over my strong negative reaction to the amount of time he spent describing his exploits in Bangkok's red-light district, Patpong. This is such a tiny part Thailand, yet it seems to be the association that Westerners almost always make.

I realize that it makes a hugely entertaining story for SG's monologue (I laughed), and he did attempt to highlight that these particular form of in-your-face ping pong shows and parlors developed as a result of the GI's stationed there during the Vietnam War. However, I can't ignore that this point of origin is uniformly eclipsed by naive sensationalism. It's all tourists who go to these hypersexualized venues, and it has become sadly normalized

Yes, concubinage/prostitution does exist historically/contemporarily as an element of Thai culture, but the places Thai men go are vastly more subtle and discrete. Or so I'm told... I've never been to one of these places or shows, tourist or local, that was staffed by women. (I'll leave the ones employed by men and in-betweens up to your imaginations...well, maybe just a hint to pique your interest, this is a non-fiction course afterall and I can be just as subject to sensationalism as SG... I was okay with the make-up, but once the ladyboys started taking off my pants, I had to get off that stage...) I won't go on at length about all the beautiful and wonderful things about Thailand, Thai people, and Thai culture (although I would love to), so I hope that my indignation at the stereotype speaks for itself about what this place means to me. (I will be writing my love letter to Thailand, but haven't done that yet...)

Don't get me wrong though, overall I thought that Swimming to Cambodia was superb. I thought SG's performance was nearly impeccable and the issues he explores are certainly still germane. Cambodia is still reeling from the effects of Pol Pot and Vietnam from our presence there. The wounds we inflicted on that country are immeasurable. What I hadn't realized, was the extent to which our involvement in Vietnam had set the stage for Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge to commit their atrocities against the Cambodian people.

My preferred memories of Cambodia are of Angkor Wat and of slowly getting stoned on a pier over Boeng Kak Lake in Phnom Penh. We didn't visit the the actual killing fields there, but we did go to the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. The building complex was originally a school, but the Khmer Rouge transformed it into a notorious prison/interrogation center/place of torture and execution, of the estimated 17,000 interred there, just 7 are known survivors. It was a chilling place to be, and the images of it are still as vivid and haunting as if I had just been there. Look it up on Wikipedia if you want more information.

On the street of Phnom Penh, I purchased a boot-leg copy of the book (yes, they boot-leg books in Cambodia) First They Killed My Father by Luong Ung, the daughter of a high-ranking official under Lon Nol. She was five when Pol Pot's army stormed the capitol, and the book is the horrific account of what her family endured. Most of them didn't survive. It's a tough read because it's so real and recent, but I highly recommend it.

Okay, it's getting heavy so I think that's enough for this blog. I've attached some pics & vids of Cambodia. I have so many that it was hard to choose, so I apologize if you think I've posted too much...

3 of the many temples at Angkor





Boeng Kak Lake

Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum








Market in Phnom Penh

Silly tourists in Cambodia